Finally

I got my grades! FINALLY! I got a distinction for 'creating digital text' and 'creative arts'. And a pass for my 3D class. Which means, i can officialyl graduate! hooray! Only in April, but still! :)

The subway way

So last night I was at work just to read the roster and find out that I am doing a close this Friday. This Friday is the work dinner. But you know, we are closing early. The dinner is at 7.30pm and we close at 7pm, meaning I leave by 7.15pm and technically should get dressed in the fridge and go straight to the dinner, smelling like subway (aka bread, pickles and sanitiser). But of course, that is not gonna happen. I'd go home and have a quick shower and then go to the dinner and be late. I rather be late than smell like subway. So that was a nice start to my shift.

Not only that, but I found out I am closing with someone who no one likes and doesn't help much. So yay for that, right?! Because everyone is going to the dinner and no one wants to work with this person, no one would swap shifts with me. So I figured, it could be worst right?! But then, salvation came along.

About 2 hours after I found this out, a girl from work comes in saying she doesn't wanna work tonight. And I'm saying how i don't wanna work friday night. So she says, if I do her shift tonight, she'll swap with me friday night (i'll work during lunch and she'll do close). I agree, of course. So she rings ppl around to let managers know and all. And then she leaves. About an hour after that, we get a call from one of the managers from the store which I was gonna work in. He's saying that we can't swap coz the pay difference is too big and bla bla bla (he makes no sense, considering cheaper ppl cover for more expensive ones all the time! it balances out). So drama goes around, no one can et in thought with anyone, and eventually the girl has to do the shift. Because of that, she wouldn't swap friday with me. But it gets worst.

Because I knew I couldn't work, I decided to go christmas shopping today, just to get a call in the morning asking if I could do the close tonight! WTF! I said no and the girl was gonna call in sick and stuff. But I think she ended up doing it. And the good news is, she'll still swap friday with me :D hooray for not going to dinner smelling like pickles :D

You see, my days are much more dramatic when I have work :P So much drama happens there nowdays, it's quite entertaining. But I'll leave all those ones for another day ;)

Almost the end

Christmas is just around the corner and I still haven't bought any present. Sigh. How depressing. But for a change, I actually have money in the bank, somehow. Even though I've been buying lots of useless stuff. Weird.

My TAFE interview is this Wednesday. I am petty much freaking out. My portfolio is almost done. I shall go out and print off some more photos today. I have almost 40 photos. Being that the guy said we should have around 20. This can't be good. But I don't wanna take half of them out.

Friday is my work dinner. That will be interesting... And after that, I might go to a fire twirling thing (class?!) and take photos with Kat. I am actually REALLY looking forward to that :)

Lunch time now ;)

Waiting

Wow, it's been a while. Over a month. How shameful.

Life's quite complicated right now. Things are out of my hands and there's nothing I can control right now. I haven't been getting many hours of work so I spend most of my time at home, bored out of my mind, because everyone else I know is working or busy. So I don't even bother anymore. I guess staying home bored is better than constantly asking people if they wanna do something and getting rejected, specially when you find out they rather spend time with their other friends.

I have an interview for TAFE next week. *freaks out* My portfolio is almost done. If it all goes well, I'll be doing photography next wear, for 2 years. If that fails, I'll try and get some full time job I guess...

I watched "away we go" last night. It is brilliant! Just so funny!
This mum asks their kid what they know about babies (the kid is not even 10yo) and he says:

"Babies like to breathe and are good at hiding it. I put a pillow over a baby and I thought she wasn't breathing but then she was. She was sneaky. But I'll try again."
Funniest. quote. ever.

That's it really...

New

My birthday is coming up. And I will turn 21. The evil age. That age where now I will be a legal adult in basically every country in the world. Where I will be held responsible for my actions. I don't like that idea at all. This getting old business doesn't work too well for me. *sigh*

The unknown

The end of the year is approaching faster and faster. I am getting so freaked out that I am loosing track of everything. I've been sick for almost 2 weeks now and it just won't get better. I have a feeling it is a sign of stress. I haven't been eating well, I haven't been doing things properly and I am just truly paranoid. I don't know what will happen next year. For the first time in my life i DON'T have all my bases covered. I've never been so scared. I don't know what I wanna do, I don't know who I wanna be.

The animation has gone to shit so I won't even have a portfolio which I can be proud of at the end of the year. Things I've been working for just fell apart. And now I have so little time to make it all work again. I really can't go out there and get a real job next year. I don't want to keep going to uni because it really seems a bit pointless. I have applied for 3 courses at TAFE but I don't know what I really want to do. Should I be a 3d modeller (?), an animator, a graphics designer or go back to what i really enjoy and become a photographer? Either way i need more practice. But there isn't a place that would take me right now.

I just need to have a plan. Any plan will do.

Stuck

I feel like i'm stuck in time. Maybe not in time, but in my life in general. I'm not moving forward and i'm not moving backwards either. It feels weird. I have 4 weeks left of uni to go, yet i have a lot to catch up on. I don't feel like doing any of that work. Most of it is going down the drain anyway. That animation I was working on? Yeah, that's totally fucked. For real, it is. It has become something completly out of my hands, something I am not involved with at all and it makes me SO angry! This was meant to be my last project, something I would spend a lot of time on and actually get things done. But nooooo. It got taken away from me (and everyone who was originally involved too) and now it is just an animation that is being made to get hits, not experience. It is meant to get sold, to give them reputation. Who cares about what 4 people at uni do, right? They need to get people from the outside, people who FUCKING HAVE REAL JOBS OUT THERE, who have experience, who know what they are doing. So they just decide to ignore us oh so stupid uni students who just wanted to do this for fun, to learn something new, to GET some fucking experience. We basically got USED so they could get the money, because if you applied, saying you were in a group with people who have jobs you probably wouldn't get it. That's what the people giving us the money told us. That a big part of the reason we got it is because we are at uni. But guess what! It blew up in their faces. I just hope this blows up in everyones faces now. Because i don't give a shit anymore. I am sick of trying to please them and knowing that they will change EVERY little thing i do and make it AGAIN and just pretend i did. It fucking sucks.



*takes deep breath*

This could've meant a lot to me you know. If this actually worked the way it was ORIGINALLY planned to work, I could have a pretty good portfolio to show at the end of it all.
FUCKING HELL.
Seriously.


The good news is, I think i'm going to TAFE next year. I wanna do photography and i wanna do graphics design and advertising.

But right now, i am really over this whole project and I hope it just fails in general. At least i'll have something to show at the end of it. Even if it isn't what the producers wanted.




It's good to let it all out.

Get things rolling

Holidays start next week. And I have SO MUCH to catch up it isn't even funny. I don't even know if I'll have enough time (or motivations really) to finish it all. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy what I am doing at Uni this semester, but it is very time consuming. Specially wehn you have a teacher that isn't too good at explaining and assumes you know a heck of a lot that you really don't, because he never thought you and just says he thought someone else did (WTF?!).
But everything will be ok, I know it will :)

I am starting a traineeships at subway soon(ish). From what I've been told, not much will change. But the good news is, I will have to get at least 15 hours every week. So hooray for that! Considering I've only been getting around 5, sometimes 10 a week, this will be pretty good :D

The other day I watched "Up", that Pixar animated movie. OMG it is so so soooo adorable! No kidding! The kid is just so fat and cute! The story is great, the animation is breath-taking. Sort of like Wall-e, a very well made movie. My dream is to be able to work with something like that. Imagine, to have your name in those credits. *sigh* I counted how many animators were involved... 64. JUST to animate, not ncluding modelling, lighting and everything else. That's quite impressive, really. It's like each person animated just over 1 minute of the movie.

I shall go back to procrastinating now ;)

Refreshing

Last night I went to the movies to watch "inglorious basterds". The quentin tarantino movie, with brad pitt and all. All I can say is AMAZING. If the evil guy doesn't get nominated for some kind of award, I will know the awards are simply fucked. Because he totally deserves it. I don't think I've ever seen someone play an evil nazi general so well! He plays a detective and he managed to make my heart race on the first few minutes. And trust me, that doesn't happen too often! It was simply fantastic. It is totally brutal. Quite obviously a tarantino kind of movie. But a must must MUST see.

Falling into place

Uni this semester is very exciting! We are doing that animation I have talked about. All my topics are helping that project in some way. Considering I am only doing 3 topics, that isn't hard. One has a major project, which we will use that animation for. The other one I am just learning more advanced 3D modelling, such as (evil) NURBS and texturing. It's quite fun! We are doing cars and will race them later ;) For another topic, I will get to program my whole website (in CSS) from scratch. Not too cool, but we will also learn to use Illustrator (it's like photoshop, but for vecor images rather than bitmap). So hopefully, by the end of this semester, I will have some mad skills ;P

This animation has made me quite excited! Feels like things are finally following into place, things are moving and I am actually learning quite a lot. I have also found out how much I just love 3D modelling. Hopefully I get to do that next year once I graduate and have to go out into the big scary world out there.

I have been watching "Queer as Folk" and am living in a fantasy world ;) I really like the characters and love how they are dealing with real life problems that gay people have to deal with such as homophobia, gay marriage, having children, HIV. I really like it :)

I watched 'Public enemies' he other day. A MUST see. I also saw 'Coraline' in 3D. The Tim Burton one. Another must see if you like him.

Dad just got back from Japan this weekend. From what he has told me, it sounds like a fantastic yet scary place to visit. The language is the scary part. Oh, and the food too. They don't eat bread or milk and have fish + rice for breakfast. That put me off right there!

I thinks that's all for now...